Talk About Divorce

An uncontested divorce is the way most people get divorced. It’s simple, relatively inexpensive, and it offers you and your spouse a chance to end the relationship with a sense of dignity. It’s not for every failed marriage, but it’s probably more than right for most everybody. One of the key differences is that rather than each party retaining the services of a divorce attorney, the final negotiations are done either privately or with the assistance of a mediator.

You don’t need a divorce attorney. Uncontested divorces are becoming simpler by the day, with some states not requiring your presence at the hearing. The bottom line is, money spent on a divorce attorney, is money that can be spent or saved for yourself. Remember, a divorce attorney feeds on the fact that emotions are running high and that both parties are neglecting to negotiate. This in turn racks up billable hours, which means money out of your pocket. During rough times like a divorce, when money may be scarce as it is, who needs to pay a divorce attorney for something that can be settled alone.

The most crucial part of a successful uncontested divorce is the low level of conflict between you and your estranged spouse. You don’t necessarily have to agree with each other on the intended outcome of the divorce, but it’s the practical and pragmatic sensibilities on the part of both parties to minimize cost, while staying in control and ending the marriage.
If you and your spouse don’t agree on all the issues of your divorce, that just means you have a bit of negotiating to do before you finish it. Imagine the costs of retaining a divorce attorney while both sides bicker about who deserves what. The divorce attorney will be in no rush to finish negotiations, possibly even stalling them, in order to reap the maximum financial benefit for themselves.

Obviously, there are certain situations where it is a terrible idea to self-represent, or forgo the counsel of a divorce attorney. If either party is being abused in any way, it is a good idea to retain legal consul. If there are large assets and child custody issues, you had better find a divorce attorney.

At the end of the day, it is simply crucial to reach a settlement that satisfies both parties. There are a host of extenuating circumstances that would heighten the risk of forgoing legal counsel. However, in the case that both parties are satisfied with just ending the marriage, simply familiarizing yourself with divorce proceedings should be adequate in reaching your desired goal.

Divorce Help

The contribution you have made to your household is immeasurable. While you may or may not have been “bread winner”, you have added value in a multitude of ways that are often not weighed fairly against being the primary wage earner, but you know that running a household is a job upon itself. A job you may have taken in addition to a job outside the home. Your daily tasks, from managing your household finances, to raising your chidlren, to planning vacations and leisure activities, are ones that should have value attached to them.

A divorce attorney can ensure that you leave your marriage with a division of assets that takes into consideration the valuable contributions as the primary housekeeper.

Divorce is the start of a new life, and although it will be difficult, it is ultimately about you and your own future now.

Start by removing some of the confusion that you are probably feeling right now. You can avoid these feelings by getting a handle on some of the practical issues involves, understand the options open to you and what you are legally entitled to, once you’ve done this you’ll start to feel a little better.

Decide if you actually need legal advice and representation. Because in many cases both parties simply wish to dissolve a marriage, if there are no major issues involving assets and child custody, the procedure can actually be easily handled without a divorce attorney.  The following are cases where it is risky to self-represent, that is to forgo the consul of a divorce attorney:

Presence of a criminal record.
History of domestic abuse, child abuse, sexual abuse or non-physical abuse.
History of neglect or irresponsible behavior towards a partner.
An inadequately treated mental illness, long-term physical ailments, lack of mental competence.
History of alcohol abuse.
Accusations of abandonment.
Accusations of poor parenting or judgement.
Any illegal immigrant status.
Is financially overextended or bankrupt or a history of financial negligence.
Ownership of a private business.
Accusations of hidden assets.
Either partner has moved to another state, more so if they have taken a child with them.
Either partner has threatened to run off with the children
Either has tried to limit access to children

The more of the above issues that are a factor in your hearing, the more you should consider consulting an experienced divorce attorney.

If any of the above are an issue for you, here are some helpful tips for finding the right divorce attorney and using them to your best advantage:

1. Hire a divorce attorney with a solid reputation and specialization in areas you need it.

2. Make sure your divorce attorney takes an active approach towards your case and is available when you need them

3. Arrive at your divorce attorney prepared with questions, notes, and necessary forms.

4. Gather all necessary financial records, legal documents, and any other documents pertaining to property ownership and money. It will save you many billable hours if you go to your divorce attorney prepared.

5. Be honest and truthful with your divorce attorney. Do not exaggerate or minimize circumstances, it will only hurt you when it comes up during your hearing.

6. Set realistic goals. You are not trying to punish your spouse. Recognize when a fair agreement has been made and take it.

7. Finally, choose a divorce attorney you can easily afford. Chances are you will be facing a period of financial distress, if not hardship, following your divorce. The last thing you need is the embarassment, and harassment, of not being able to pay your bills.